A relationship coach has advised partners to avoid opening up on past romantic relationships to their partners.
His assertion is that trust should be the basis to guide couples on deciding to unravel their past to each other.
The question about how much of a past one should reveal to his or her partner has often generated a lot of controversies. On TV3’s Heart Bay segment of New Day, Cookie Tee and her guests, relationship coach Kelly, Kafui Freeman and Afriyie Nartey of Ghana’s Most Beautiful (GMB) 2020 advanced arguments to make a case for their stance.
Relationship coach, Kelly, in his submission advised that partners should be able to ascertain the presence of trust among each other before making revelations of the past.
He said, “I will go simple and straightforward. No information should be given out until trust is earned. Until trust is earned and not assumed. Trust must be earned even when you want to give out your name”.
According to him, every individual must undergo the important stages of friendship to earn an opportunity where issues of the past could be entrusted. He added that young adults should ascertain the stage of which their partners belong before revealing confidential matters to avoid future damages.
He said, “There are six stages you go through before you confirm the marriage. From a confirmed stranger, confirmed acquaintance, confirmed friend. A confirmed stranger is someone who I have seen and let you in some space and graduates to a confirmed acquaintance. There is a difference between a confirmed acquaintance and a stranger. An acquaintance is someone you are familiar with and a stranger is someone you can identify with. Identification is different from affiliation or a situation where I am comfortable with you. So if you are a stranger I can’t let you on somethings beyond here”
“An acquaintance is someone you are familiar with and can open up to a certain level but still cannot be called a friend. A friend is someone who knows me in life and can interpret my goals in life and can execute the goal in my life without being told. Anyone who cannot do that is not your friend. Don’t give people spaces in your life they have not earned. They have got to work for it.
“A confirmed friend is someone you can identify and identification is different from affiliation. An affiliation where I am comfortable with you. An acquaintance is someone you can open to at a certain level but I still cannot call you my friend”, he advised.