Maybe you have been in a relationship for a long time but still contemplating as to whether your partner is the ideal one you should marry. There are some critical questions you should ask yourself before moving forward. Calm your nerves and ask yourself the following questions.
1. Why am In this relationship?
Answering this question means you know the purpose of being in that relationship.
Is it because you want to run away from the shadows of your parents? or is it because you are afraid of being alone? Or is it because of financial challenges or because you want compensation for your previous broken relationship? Or is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Amos 3:3 says do two people start travelling together without arranging to meet. Remember, marriage is an aspect of life, a journey we hope to embark on to achieve something great. Don’t be more concerned about the wedding ring you will fix on your finger because that ring can be pulled back the same way your partner pushed it on your finger. Always ask yourself, do I agree with my partner, what do we share that can take us far in that journey.
2. How long have I known the past of my partner?
In modern lifestyles, this question is usually overlooked, but it’s the most important question one must ask himself/herself before even thinking of marriage. The reason for the breakdown of many marriages is our inattentiveness to carefully study our partner. Do you know about the sexual past of your partner? How deep do you know about his or her family? What work does he/she do? Who is this person? Unfortunately, today we meet people at the pool party, at the restaurant, a jamboree, or during all other forms of ostentatious displays and take them home. In less than a month, you pressure the person to take you to the altar thinking that marriage is a perchance. It is not. No one harvests a mushroom from the smooth/tarred road. Marriage needs conscious planning, the ability to apprehend complexities ahead of time. In the Akan parlance, there is a saying that marriage is not like salt where you can taste to see if the quantity is OK. Your happiness or bitterness depends on how you critically examine your partner, both past and present. This will help you know if your partner is a good match.
3. Do my partner loves me for who I am?
Is your partner complaining every day about everything you do? Is your partner trying to model you to fit his or her lifestyle? Don’t be in a situation where you are being compelled to be who you are not if your partner is not ready to accept you as the “unique and special” person you are. If your partner means the relationship, then he/she should be ready to accept your flaws/weakness. Your partner shouldn’t condemn your weakness, rather, the best they can do is for them to see your strength and help develop your weakness. Being in love with someone doesn’t mean compromise your identity.
4. Is there “peace” in the relationship?
Every human being needs peace. It has become a household word. Politicians quack it on the campaign platforms whiles religious bodies sing it in their prayers and libation. So peace is the best measure if you want to know that your relationship is or will be a blessing. Unfortunately, the modern generation use money and materialistic possessions whilst others use sex as a thermometer to measure how hot or cold love is. Do you find peace whether your partner is with you or not? If you only find peace when your partner is around, then your relationship is questionable. Do you think over and over again or finds it difficult to sleep when your partner is away. A peaceful relationship is one in which both partners are equally or fairly treated regardless of who is the head, your job position, among others. Men should not be commanding respect, rather, it should be reciprocated. The essential ingredients of peace in a relationship include the safety of your partner, welfare, justice, prosperity and respect. A relationship devoid of fear, harm, threat, or physical attack is the best. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean the absence of conflict since peace cannot be achieved automatically. It had to be planted and nurtured by the partners involved. Find out from most married women, and you would realize that many of them are not enjoying a happy marriage despite their husband being rich. Their husbands are rich but they are poor. Their husbands are putting on fashionable dressings whilst they are in ordinary dressings. Some people are dying in marriages today because they failed to value peace from the onset of their relationship.
5. Is this relationship balanced?
Are both of you taking responsibilities and working towards the growth and sustainability of the relationship or everything is left unto. Do you feel you are on ton same page in terms of being, support, and sacrifice or you are the ones who say compromising or always wrong? Or? you are the one always doing the giving while the other sits unconcerned. Are you the one always calling her? Or You always have to text her first before it takes some minutes, hours, days before they reply. Or is she the type who forgets about your birthday but when is her own, the whole world will hear?