Relationship counsellor Uncle Ebo Whyte has advised women to do away with insecurities in their relationships because it makes it easier for their male partners to manipulate them.
He revealed this to Cookie Tee on the Heart bay segment of the TV3 New Day morning show. In a discussion about privacy in relationships, Uncle Ebo Whyte pointed out that the absence of trust breeds insecurities.
Uncle Ebo Whyte projected that men love insecure ladies because they can lie and manipulate them as they want. He explained that men often make decisions based on how insecure their women act. He said these alert men on when to cheat and when not to do so.
“Men love the women who don’t trust us. It’s easy to fool them. It’s very easy. When I am relating to you, and I know you are suspicious of me, you make me alert. You won’t see anything, and yet a lot could be going on.”
According to Uncle Ebo Whyte, it is rather advantageous to leave men to their own devices, leaving them with the knowledge that you trust them. That way, their conscience would fight off temptations. Compared to a sulky attitude because you accused him wrongly. He would say, “that girl, she would say I have even if I haven’t. So I might as well do it. And then find ways of covering it up. If she catches me, that’s that!”
“So let us understand that for trust, the person doesn’t need to be worthy of the trust. Let him know, ‘I trust you.’ With time, he would rise to his best self because that’s what trust does to us.”
Using a real story to buttress his point, Uncle Ebo Whyte narrated a story of a woman who spoke affirmations into her husband’s life despite his rather dubious activities. He said after a while, the husband realized his foolery and changed his ways.
Why? Because one day, his friends called him a fool because he was messing around whilst your wife thought the best of him. And when he asked his wife why she never believed all the rumours (although true) about him, she knew her words would get back to him because she was speaking to his better self.
Uncle Ebo Whyte advised partners in relationships to do away with the pain from past relationships and make room for love and trust.