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WHY LOVE DIES IN MOST MARRIAGES

 

Love dies because it wasn’t love in the first place. Casual sex forces a lot of people to marry unintentionally. Some get into marriage for financial security. Others succumb to pressure from society to get married before they hit forty. Such lower their standards just to be married. And a few have watched too many movies and confuse infatuation with love.

Many couples stay in a marriage with unspoken expectations. They have never agreed on the ground rules about sex, money, in-laws and resolving conflicts. One suffers silently because of a sexless marriage and another bears with in-laws living in their house. Eventually the bubble bursts. You can’t sustain love on assumptions. Love thrives where expectations are clarified and respected.

For most marriages, love fizzles away because the partners don’t invest in their marriage. They take each other for granted. There’s no growth in their marriage. Marriage does not work; marriage is caused to work. Others allow malicious people to be their marriage counsellors. How can one who destroyed their marriage advise you how to succeed in marriage?

Many love stories ended up tragic because of betrayal. When trust is broken, love goes with the winds. Affairs kill love relationships. Equally worse is anger. Anger is birthed by pride and entitlement. Love is built on giving, not receiving. Keep ego and rage out of your way. And learn to forgive your partner. Offences will never be eliminated in marriage. Forgiveness fuels love.

Love is also wrecked by selfishness and lack of flexibility. Two cannot tangle unless they accommodate each other. Neither will love to outlast irresponsibility. Money will be needed in any relationship. If one partner refuses to work or gets addicted to drugs or alcohol, their love will eventually wither. And without a doubt, no love survives abuse. There’s nothing more annoying than to hear an abuser saying how he loves his partner. You cannot love and abuse at the same time.

Source: DR. K. N. JACOB

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